I found myself looking through old black and white negatives from my days as an aspiring photographer, looking for the one really good picture of my Grandpa Suzuki. My sister in law requested it so that she could make copies of it; it was known as the best picture of my grandpa ever taken. I took that picture. I also took a good picture of my mother before she died. Ironically, this is one of a few that we have of her since she tore up all the pictures that were taken of her.
I do not regularly look at old pictures but when I do, as I was searching for the negative of that one good black and white photo of my grandfather, I am reminded of a life full of excitement and drama, lots of people, lots of laughter lots of sadness. How I got to my current place in life is beyond me. The pictures show a daisy chain of my life that is broken and crooked, but I managed to survive. I’ve soul searched a lot in the last few years dragging myself through two divorces, one of my own and one of my fathers, struggling to keep life in balance. Is it me or do people stay away from you when you are going through a divorce? I feel alone and tired, feel like my life has become one little blip in the blips of the world and no one really cares about little blips. I guess the pain of divorce is a pain that you have to go through yourself.
I have a beautiful new Design Studio and Gift Shop and am dying to have a ‘grand opening’ but the owner of the Yoga studio wants to wait until June. June! That’s 3 months after moving in! I’ll really lose momentum by then! A student at our studio created T-shirts for the grand opening that read “Seriously Bent” on the front, “But not Broken” on the back. I really wanted to have a big party to celebrate this new part of my life, but I guess I have to have patience.
And yes, I found the negative of that great black and white picture of my grandpa as well as the one of my mom. I think I will reprint both of them. They will both be happy to know, that through it all - I may be seriously bent, but I am not broken! Keeping Green, Christine